My kids! your kids!
The secret for success.
Second marriage is sometimes hard because we pick two distinct families and put them together without knowing if all the members agreed with that union.
Our children are always our priority (or should be) but if they don’t like the person we choose to share our life ... should we give up our relationship?
NO!!! A round NO!!!
If the other person treats them bad or disrespect them, that’s another history, but this post is for those of you who want to be with the one you choose but your children or his children are makint that a hard time job.
Children are nothing more but that, children. They know very little about life and relationships. They are probably jealous because they need to share their mom with someone else. His kids equal.
So what’s the secret to overcome their resistance?
LOVE!
Sounds cliche, I know, but read it to the end.
We are talking about relationships and the foundation of both, parents and love partners, is love. So my sugestão for you is that if you really want to have a peaceful relationship give this tips a try.
Prioritize the harmony between you and your partner. Your love for each other are the base for the others satellite relationships (yours kids included)
Keep giving time to your children but don’t give them over attention. If you feel they are asking for yours attention just to keep you two appart, cut it. Do not allow that. They need to learn the mining of share. And no, they will not be traumatized.
Take some mom/kids and dad/kids time. Some therapists might disagree with me in this point, but for my experience and others around me, this is important not just for our children but for us as well. What I mean is to take them to the park, or to eat an ice cream or something that you use to do with them when were just you. One hour or two it’s enough to strengthen the bond between you and your kids without harming the relationship with your partner.
Do the same with your partner. Dedicate time to each other. You need to nurture your love.
With time, things will change. Your kids will grow and have a different vision.
Have a wonderful day,
Helena